Saturday, October 28, 2006

Its grown from leaves that grow in nature.

Now I don't want to clog up my blog with pointless links and things, but this is textbook idiocy from a guy on CDG who calls himself "S.A.J. Colonel". I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I don't share with you this classic piece of writing (I've highlighted the best bits):

well its about coke again, over this past month me and my friend kind of went all out on this shit doing like half O's in a week of course selling some to make the money back but not important. iv had past friends coming up to me saying all this bad shit about it, but its not a bad drug at all, its grown from leafs that grow in nature, it doesn't make u dumb, actually smarter, gives you better senses. i swear when ur on this shit u can think of anything in the world and it perfectly makes sense. its not as addictive as people say it is of course if your smart about it. god i hate to say this but cocaine is a hell of a drug. but my question is i need start cutting some coke. iv heard of many methods of sugars and speed and what not. by personal experiences from someone what would be most efictive to use in the cutting of coke?


Entire topic here

:]

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Friday, October 27, 2006

Got Quote?

Been ages since I last wrote anything remotely good on here.


From Maynard himself...

Tool is exactly what it sounds like: It's a big dick. It's a wrench. It's also what it sounds like: It's a verb, it's a digging factor. It's an active process of searching, as in use us, we are a shovel, we are the match, we're the blotter of acid, your tool; use us as a catalyst in your process of finding out whatever it is you need to find out, or whatever it is you're trying to achieve.


He says a lot of cool things.

But anyway, I've been thinking too much lately - I've always thought about things lots - over the last few weeks it has been getting pretty bad though, I'll be at a party perfectly happy, then I'll sit down and analyze myself and have yet another night where I feel really alone. When I engage with people or do anything that I have to concentrate on, it almost feels like a form of escapism. Some people say this means I'm depressed...I don't think I'm depressed, I don't have an excuse to me, nothing terrible has happened to me and although I have my issues, they're nothing in comparison to a whole load of other peoples' and I think it's just hormones allied with overthought. Its also loneliness, I think.
A Topic on AtPR about this.
Why am I lonely? I have plenty of friends, some of them damned close, I usually hang out with people at college...I get on well with my parents, too. Maybe being an only child and having a shitty early school life (Hyper ADHD kid with no friends, then zombie'd by Ritalin). Christ knows. I think I need a girlfriend.

However that raises two issues - firstly that if I want a girlfriend it means that eventually I'll get desperate, and look too hard and get hurt or wont be very happy and hurt people, secondly that I don't think its a particularly great idea to go out with someone to solve personal problems - meeting someone you like should be spontaneous and not...engineered.

Engineered. What a great word, it applies to so many things nowadays - I've noticed that people are becoming more conscious, more analytical - things are far less spontaneous and genuine (or so it feels like) because they're analyzed, calculated, and thought through at conception before they're executed. What does this mean? Why is it happening?

I blame the internet :]. No really. There are parallels between the way people act in real life, and how people act online - it's changing how we think about things. This isn't very clear so I'll give an example. In real life, where you're sitting in a room, there's body language, you say things pretty much as you think of them and interact in a fairly nonlinear way - you can interupt people, talk at the same time as someone, pause tactically - time becomes an element of communication in itself. With MSN conversations, (or Windows Live Messenger as it is now :/ ), conversation is completely linear. You think about what you type, type it out, and there's a decision whether to hit enter and send the message. Often I've found myself typing something, selecting it and deleting it - words I've spoken but have never been heard. Although subtle, I think that this is having subtle effects on the way people act. I don't want to speak for others mind, with 99% of people, it isn't noticeable at all, it's such a little factor that it makes almost no different at all. These people are normal. However, with me it's noticeably affecting how my head works, things are calculated and analysed before they're "sent". To be honest, it's not much of a problem as it means that actions are far more...considered. Sometimes it's a nightmare though.

Am I glad I think too much?

I don't know. This is another thing I've been noticing about myself lately, especially since I've been talking to Mike. I'm damned inconclusive. I think and think and think but I can't bring myself to step down and commit to conclusions. Is this a good thing? Is this fear of commitment? Who the fuck knows - I guess at this age it's pretty useful as many of the things I think about, making conclusions at this age would be pretty dumb, although as Mike pointed out it does mean that I am quite self-contradictory and this can lead to hypocrisy and inconsistent arguments. Oh well.

I got a job, by the way - it was a couple months ago but I forgot to write anything. I work at Burtons/DP Redhill on saturdays (usually my shift is 10AM-2PM). So if you're in the Belfry drop in and distract me from unpacking clothes or whatever task I'm getting bored of at that point.

If you know Mike, you might know that at the moment, he's reading a book on reaffirming your faith. Why does he want to do it? Here are the reasons he gave me (copy pasting from his blog as I can't be assed to fuck around with logs):

Cleve says:
why do you want to have faith
Michael says:
because life is so shit and pointless without it


Interesting - I'm trusting that he's doing this wisely though, he generally considers these things and (hopefully) wont be killing homosexuals, preaching Intelligent (stupid) Design or whatever else in twenty years time (whether he finds faith or not).

The book is called The Purpose-driven Life, written by Rick Warren (your average bible bashing fucktard) and of what I read, I didn't like it - but if it helps Mike find faith then I guess its doing its job.

Read his blog for most of the updates on it, I'm adding several links to my blogroll thing when I redesign my blog anyway so I'll pop it there anyway.

What's going on recently? Well I just got back from a party where I dressed as...Han Solo:



So I'm fairly hung over and tired. Chilling today as I have to work tomorrow. The night before that, I slept around Huw's house and we watched the Battlestar Galactica miniseries and a third of the first Season (since he bought the DVDs). He's been trying to get me into BSG for a while and I think he might have cracked it, the show is exceptionally well done and the space battles remind me of something out of Homeworld 2 (but far better). Pretty, pretty visuals, interesting characters, and an original story kept me on the edge of my seat right up until 4AM when we finally decided to let our bodies rest so we could function properly the next day. I shall most likely be watching the rest of season one when I finish this post.

In the news, it appears that Jack Thompson got entirely nailed, which is pretty cool. Honestly I don't think the guy is particularly a threat to gaming though - his arguments are ludacrous and legally flawed - in the US games are protected by the constitutional right to free speech, and liberal european judges would probably find him even more amusing.

Mad governments with nukes are pretty scary, seeing as North Korea is getting closer to being another threat to world stability (yes, although it's not very nice having the US dominant and a monkey practically at the steering wheel of the planet, it does ensure a certain degree of stability.). I'll stay off politics though. Noone cares about the view of some 17 year old kid with no experience of anything, no conclusive opinions and no real ideology.

So for now, I think I'll leave it at that. I'm sorry this post wasn't witty, funny, or sarcastic. Now cheer up and read xkcd. x

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